Pinot ‘d’ Pig introduces the Piglets

Sometimes, life throws you lemons. I had two pelted at me a few months ago. They came in the form of two little piggies. Their names? Mayonnaise and Pinot Junior – oh, tone it down… I can hear your hearts melting from the corner of my pigpen in the Tamar Valley.

Once I was the only pig on the Holm Oak estate.

I made all the rules.

I ate all the apples.

I made the kids laugh while their parents sipped on Pinot Noir.

But Bec and Tim had to go and add to the family, didn’t they? One pig was not enough. But I’m a tough swine. When life throws you lemons, I follow the rules of the leader of the modern world. Not that orange-faced Trump card – I’m talking about Beyoncé. I make Lemonade.

So allow me to introduce you to the Holm Oak homies – Pinot Junior, my pink and brown doppelganger, and Mayonnaise, the brown-hued piglet. They’re sweet really. They’re miniatures, so they’ll never reach my stature, both physically and figuratively. I’ll put them to work as soon as Bec and her boys release them from their cotton wool enclosure.

I’ve been General Manager for years now – my sweat and tears have marked the land on which we produce these great Tassie wines. The time has come to hand the reins to the next generation. So Pinot Junior and Mayo, get ready. You’re up next.

Now excuse me while I finish my book, Animal Farm.